{"id":2294,"date":"2023-12-12T21:26:26","date_gmt":"2023-12-13T02:26:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/childdevelop.ca\/mothersinmind\/?page_id=2294"},"modified":"2025-01-17T13:19:49","modified_gmt":"2025-01-17T18:19:49","slug":"for-moms","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/childdevelop.ca\/mothersinmind\/for-moms\/","title":{"rendered":"For Moms"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
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Being a mom isn\u2019t always easy. Between\u00a0managing the day-to-day responsibilities of caring for\u00a0children, the sleepless nights, and all of life\u2019s other challenges, most moms\u00a0wonder if they\u2019re doing a \u2018good job\u2019.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

If you have had hurtful experiences in your past – either as a child or teenager, or more recently as an adult\u00a0–\u00a0these experiences can add unique challenges to parenting young children.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Mothers in Mind covers a range of topics to help moms learn how to manage stress, increase self-esteem and respond to their children in a sensitive, caring manner. Some of these topics are explored in this For Moms section, which provides parenting information specifically for moms who have young children and have had experiences of violence and trauma in their lives.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n


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\r\n Taking Care of Yourself<\/a>\r\n <\/h4>\r\n <\/div>\r\n
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Sometimes moms are so busy taking care of everyone else that they forget to take care of themselves. It can be hard to take a few minutes for yourself when the dishes are piling up and you\u2019re trying to get dinner on the table. This is especially true if you\u2019re parenting alone.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

When moms feel better, their children benefit.\u00a0 Part of feeling better about your parenting is understanding how experiences of violence and trauma can impact your parenting.\u00a0 It can help you to better understand some of the challenges you experience and helps to minimize feelings of guilt and shame.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In this section you can learn more about how violence and trauma can impact parenting, as well as strategies to deal with stress and practical ways to take a break when you are parenting young children.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Topics include:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

How violence and trauma can impact parenting<\/a>
Dealing with stress<\/a>
Taking a break<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

How violence and trauma can impact parenting<\/strong><\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Sometimes I feel like I just wasn\u2019t cut out to be a mom. What should I do?<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

At times, every mom worries about whether they are a \u2018good mom\u2019. Children don\u2019t come with an instruction book, and women don\u2019t get a \u2018magical parenting toolbox\u2019 the instant they become a mom.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Many different things can affect your parenting and your relationship with your children: the support you receive, your culture or religion, different stresses in your life, and the way you were raised as a child all play a role in determining how you parent.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Hurtful experiences you had as an adult, teenager and even from your childhood can also play a role in how you parent, your relationship with your children and how you feel as a mother.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Violence in an adult relationship<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

When a mother lives with an abusive partner or family member, the use of power and control tactics can impact how she parents her children. Putting down your parenting, undermining your authority, not allowing you to comfort your child when they are upset, and isolating you from friends and family can all affect your relationship with your child and affect how you feel as a mother.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In these situations, some women may also change their parenting style. Not setting limits with your children out of guilt, being strict with your children to keep them from bothering the abuser, sharing adult information with your children because you feel isolated, and relying on older children to help take care of their siblings are direct results of the abuse.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Childhood trauma<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Experiencing abuse or neglect as a child, especially from a parent, can also affect your parenting. Parenting is learned from many different sources; however, the way you were parented as a child plays a significant role in how you parent your own children.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

If you grew up with parents who were hurtful or neglectful, it can be difficult to know how to respond to your own child\u2019s emotional needs and connect with them in an appropriate way. It can sometimes be hard to see them getting the love and affection or opportunities that you might not have had growing up. If you were hurt as a child, seeing your children at the age you were when you were hurt can also be difficult. Your child can make you aware of how young and vulnerable you really were.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Managing the impact<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

If you have had hurtful experiences in your life, give yourself a break. Try to separate out your parenting from the violence that occurred. Remember that it\u2019s the hurtful experiences that are making parenting difficult, not because you \u2018aren\u2019t cut out to be a mom\u2019. Here are some tips to help you understand how these experiences may have impacted your parenting:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n